We always try so hard to keep up appearances, fool people into thinking we have it all under control when the truth is, we are hanging on by a thread and it feels like the slightest push will have us falling apart.
Just this week alone, I had 3 assignment, a presentation and 2 semester tests to get through. I didn't even know where to start, with what. At some point during the day on campus, I found myself sitting in the car and crying, wondering whether I had really thought out this whole decision to work and study. I felt like I couldn't do it, a part of me wanted to quit everything at that exact moment.
I was having one of those moments when you realise that you are not as invincible as you had thought yourself to be. For some reason I feel that I am not performing at my peak, or maybe I am just pushing myself too hard? I don't know! I have always done extremely well at school, with minimum effort really and this time around, it seems despite taking out all my guns, I am still not coping.
Yesterday I got reminded that, it's okay. It really is okay not to be strong all the time, it really is okay to have someone other than you be top of the class. It is okay to cry, it is okay to feel you are not strong enough, it is okay to feel like you wanna throw in the towel. One cannot always perform at their peak, we all have moments where we feel nothing in us can hold on any longer.
But what sets us apart and what proves the resilience that lies within us, is not giving up even when we have plenty of reason to. It is believing we can even when we haven't really produced our absolute best, it is knowing that it is never too late to improve. Its okay to cry, because crying is what cleanses our hearts, crying is like sharpening your tool while you take a break. When you have wiped away your tears, you should be ready for the work that lies ahead because you have just given yourself a clean slate.
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One thing we always forget to remind ourselves of is that we are human, and its ok to ask for help when we are feeling overwhelmed, why then have we surrounded ourselves with people when they cannot come to our aid wen we need them the most?!
ReplyDeleteps: dont forget to breath, step back and gain new perspective , you are superwoman its just that sometimes you need to wash your cape and take a rest, as it dries ;)
100% agree Ma, sometimes we just need to step back and take a breather while sharpening our tools for the task ahead.
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