LOST IN APPLAUSE

It is so easy to become consumed with what people say to us, especially when it's things that we want to hear but if we are not careful we may become stuck in a place that creates a need to always be praised and lose focus of what it is we need to do. The dangerous part becomes also the inability to discern what is genuine and what is not. Not all good news have good intentions. 

We are taught never to believe the negative things that people say about us or to us, although sometimes there can be a grain of truth to those things we don't want to hear but that's a topic for another day. How do you know when good news isn't such good news? When praise and cheers aren't laced with good intentions? How do you switch off when you hear what you want to but it's something you shouldn't be taking to heart? Are you even aware that sometimes people know exactly what you want to hear and use that to exploit you? 

Studies dating back to learning theorists have taught us about reinforcement and punishment as a method to help children learn and we grow up with the knowledge that anything that deems punishment we need to stay away from and whatever receives reward is reinforced. So when we get a pat on the back and we are praised for our efforts and good work, we automatically want to do more of the things that keeps the praise coming our way. We do it as parents to our children, employers do it with their employees and partners do it with each other. It is a strategy that works, we praise people and get more of the results we want from them. 

Isn't it then expected that when I discover what works I can use the same tactic to manipulate any situation? So people pat us on the back and offer praise but it's done because of what they get out of it and from you as a result. When you tell me how great I am, doesn't that build in me a need to constantly measure up to your definition of this greatness so you can continue seeing me in that way.  At the same time, do I not risk become your indirect slave because your opinion of me means so much? 

It's a process that can lead one to losing their true motive for doing something. We can get so lost in the cheers and applause that the reason for doing what we are doing is lost in the hype. That we now live for the reaction rather than our true calling and purpose and this loss in direction can create a hunger that never fills. That's why some people always need to be at the forefront of things, taking centre stage - it’s that or nothing for them. If they are not seated at the front row to soak in the spotlight and applause, they will not show up. They are basically not interested. 

This hunger then turns to greed and greed turns to ego and before you can even blink, this person has lost sight of what matters. They are doing what they do for all the wrong reasons. Today I want to ask you to go back to a time before the spotlight and ask yourself what drove you. What called you? What was your purpose and intention? 

When you find the answers to those questions, ask yourself if that is still the sole reason you are doing what you do. Are your actions still aligned to your purpose or have you become so consumed with glory and applause that it's become your only reason for waking up in the morning? Choose to answer this with complete honesty because that's the answer that could possibly save you from being consumed by the cheers and losing focus of what it needs to be all about.