Our teen years are usually categorised by a lot of learning and confusion and trying to find our direction in life. One of the things that stands out during this time is our need for peer acceptance, breaking away from our parents and finally being able to make our own decisions. Decisions that don't even turn out to be our own because we are so hell bent on trying to win the approval and validation of our peers. With your late twenties comes a shift in focus and finally coming to a place where you know who you are and what it is you want from life.
Unfortunately the transition is not natural for all of us and it's sad to watch grown people still not knowing what it is that they stand for, their decisions are still based on trying to be accepted and loved by those they regard as important. The problem with trying to live a life that is centred around pleasing everyone around you but yourself is that, you never win because no matter what you do there will always be a few people who don't approve and therefore don't accept you on the basis of the choices you have made. Not only that but it's rather tiring trying to always think of the next person before you take any action in your life. I am by no means saying we should blindly do things without considering how they may impact others but sometimes being selfish is a good thing especially when no one is getting hurt as a result of you putting yourself first.
The people we gain by pretending to be who we aren't are not even worth having in your life because the right people will always love you for the right reasons. That means they can look passed your flaws and differences and embrace the person that you are. There must be things that you believe in, things that you stand for and while those things may not always win you the approval of everyone or even popularity, it should be enough for you just knowing that you are true to yourself.
Not everyone will understand or love you and it's not even your job to make them change their minds about what they think. I am of the belief that when you stick to who you are and what you believe in, the right doors will open and the right people will naturally gravitate towards you. Effortless and definitely a win-win situation in my eyes. Life is so much simpler when you don't feel the need to hide your true self and when you can be as crazy and silly as you want around people and know that they don't love you any less or think differently about you.
There is a popular saying that, "if you don't stand for anything you will fall for everything." That's how you find yourself going in whichever direction the wind is blowing and your no means yes and yes means no. Don't fall victim to seeking approval of the people you love so much so that you don't know who you are outside of that acceptance. Seek to know who you are and what you stand for and trust the Universe to bring people along your path who will not only understand that but share the same sentiments as well. Also learn that differences are inevitable and it doesn't mean either one of us has to change to fit what the other thinks is ideal but that we can learn to co-exist and still love each other the same even if we don't see everything through the same lense. Cultivate your own thoughts and beliefs by not accepting everything at face value and when you have come to learn that which you stand for, don't try and impose it on everyone else. Stand for something or risk falling for what everyone else stands for.
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