LEAP

A year ago I took a life changing decision to relocate to a different city and province. It was a scary experience, having grown up and lived in one town all my life I had no idea what I was doing or even if I was making the right decision. The hardest part of the entire process was leaving my child behind and wondering whether we would both cope with being away from each other. All I knew was that life often calls on us to make a leap despite the fear and the thoughts that aim to hold us back. I had to trust that I would develop the courage needed along the way if only I was brave enough to trust what lay before me and not what was familiar to me.

A few times in this process, I have wanted to pack my bags and head back home because I was wrestling with myself regarding the decision that I made and because sometimes life gives us what we ask for but not in a packaging that we recognise so we miss that our prayers have been answered because the response doesn't match up to the image that we had conceived in our heads. It was a constant battle.

However it was also in my time of doubt that I learned that God always speaks to us and gives us signs if we seek Him in our moment of doubts. Everytime that I got ready to hand in that letter of resignation, someone would come with a word totally oblivious to the thoughts that raced in my head but what they said would be the assurance that I was looking for. And it was in those moments that I learned that God had orchestrated this move and I was called to bloom where I was planted.

There were countless tears shed and just as many laughs that came. In a few months I was promoted to Senior Social Worker, heading a Department that just months prior I knew nothing about. Again I saw the hand of God upon my life and I learned again that when you function within your purpose, He opens doors for you that you didn't even knock on.

I am gaining invaluable experience in this journey and I have become a better person and professional because I was offered opportunities to grow and surrounded by people who believed in me as a professional despite my shortcomings. This process has also caused me to honestly reflect on myself and to become more aware of character flaws that I need to work on in order to make this a success and to also become an overall better person. I fail dismally at times but I am thankful for those around me who are patient with me and who daily allow me the space to grow, evolve and make the necessary changes.

I could have denied myself the beauty of all that I have seen around me if I had let fear and emotions control my decisions. You see sometimes you don't need to know all the answers, you just need to be prepared to take that famous leap of faith and trust that it will all work out as it should.

I reckon that we often need to discard our thoughts of how it's supposed to be and make it work with the cards that we are dealt with. And often the only thing standing between you and realising your dreams is the need to be in control and figure it out. Your willingness to step out of the security of what is familiar could be the gateway to living your best life thus far.

Take the plunge. You have no idea what is waiting for you on the other side of fear. I know for certain that as difficult as it was a year ago to make this decision, it remains to this day the best thing I ever did for myself as an individual and a Social Worker.

DARE TO LIVE THE LIFE YOU WANT

Most of us if not all of us want to be successful right? I assume you shouted yes. I'm by no means an expert on how to make money so when I say success don't limit it to having ching in your account. We all have individual definitions of what success is and that determines what we pursue and the choices we make.

Irrespective of how you define success, I believe there are a few principles that are universal. In the quest to transition from where you are to where you want to be or from who you are to who you want to be - there are a few things you need to check and put into place. 

1. What do you believe? Before you see any changes in your life, it needs to start with what you believe. Do you believe that you can go where you want to and be the person that you want to be or are you are a prisoner of your own thoughts, believing that possibilities only exist for certain people and only a privileged few. You have to do more than envision yourself going somewhere, you actually have to believe that it's not only possible but you are capable of achieving it. Until you change your thoughts about yourself and your ability to do what you want, you won't go anywhere, nothing in your life will change. Whilst it's a boost to the ego to have people believe in you and see your potential, that's not going to do much for you until you can look in the mirror and see your own greatness. 

2. What are you willing to risk? If you are not prepared to risk anything, chances are great that you won't get anything in return. Often we become loyal to things and people that are a hindrance to where we are trying to go and for as long as you choose that loyalty over where you see yourself being or going, you risk the possibility of staying in the same place and being stagnant. Success comes with taking risks, knowing that things are not written in stone and that sometimes without knowing what's on the other side of your comfort zone, you must take that leap of faith and hope for the best. If you are scared to take risks, you will never know what could have come from your faith. A single jump could be all that stands between you and reaching your goals. 

3. What do you need to sacrifice? It could be a few hours of sleep because you need to put in extra work towards what you want. It could be missing a few social gatherings because there are other pressing matters to attend to. It could be walking around in the same pair of jeans for a year because you saving up to start that business or attend that course that will make you eligible for a promotion. Whatever it is you aspire to, there are sacrifices that you need to make along the way to eventually get what you want. "Temporary sacrifice, long term gain" that's the motto one of my friends used when she left the comfort of her job to pursue her studies. Do what you must, discard what you can, make the sacrifice today so you can have what you want tomorrow. 

4. How badly do you want it? We all have dreams but what separates those who achieve and those who don't is how badly they want their dreams to become a reality. How they treat their dreams and the amount of work they put towards realising those dreams. You cannot dream of a slim body and overlook the need to exercise and eat right,  your actions and decisions need to be aligned to what you hope to achieve. It's not a by the way affair, it's not a when I have the time activity. Every day you wake up, you have to be conscious of what it is you want and take steps that will lead you there. It's commitment and discipline, it's what you think, what you risk and what you are willing to sacrifice - all these elements, everyday, consistently, without growing weary. It's giving all you have, all you can and not stopping till you have what you want. 

"Dreams don't work unless we do" 

You are #BornToConquer, don't get stuck where you are. #Evolve

#RLG

LOST IN APPLAUSE

It is so easy to become consumed with what people say to us, especially when it's things that we want to hear but if we are not careful we may become stuck in a place that creates a need to always be praised and lose focus of what it is we need to do. The dangerous part becomes also the inability to discern what is genuine and what is not. Not all good news have good intentions. 

We are taught never to believe the negative things that people say about us or to us, although sometimes there can be a grain of truth to those things we don't want to hear but that's a topic for another day. How do you know when good news isn't such good news? When praise and cheers aren't laced with good intentions? How do you switch off when you hear what you want to but it's something you shouldn't be taking to heart? Are you even aware that sometimes people know exactly what you want to hear and use that to exploit you? 

Studies dating back to learning theorists have taught us about reinforcement and punishment as a method to help children learn and we grow up with the knowledge that anything that deems punishment we need to stay away from and whatever receives reward is reinforced. So when we get a pat on the back and we are praised for our efforts and good work, we automatically want to do more of the things that keeps the praise coming our way. We do it as parents to our children, employers do it with their employees and partners do it with each other. It is a strategy that works, we praise people and get more of the results we want from them. 

Isn't it then expected that when I discover what works I can use the same tactic to manipulate any situation? So people pat us on the back and offer praise but it's done because of what they get out of it and from you as a result. When you tell me how great I am, doesn't that build in me a need to constantly measure up to your definition of this greatness so you can continue seeing me in that way.  At the same time, do I not risk become your indirect slave because your opinion of me means so much? 

It's a process that can lead one to losing their true motive for doing something. We can get so lost in the cheers and applause that the reason for doing what we are doing is lost in the hype. That we now live for the reaction rather than our true calling and purpose and this loss in direction can create a hunger that never fills. That's why some people always need to be at the forefront of things, taking centre stage - it’s that or nothing for them. If they are not seated at the front row to soak in the spotlight and applause, they will not show up. They are basically not interested. 

This hunger then turns to greed and greed turns to ego and before you can even blink, this person has lost sight of what matters. They are doing what they do for all the wrong reasons. Today I want to ask you to go back to a time before the spotlight and ask yourself what drove you. What called you? What was your purpose and intention? 

When you find the answers to those questions, ask yourself if that is still the sole reason you are doing what you do. Are your actions still aligned to your purpose or have you become so consumed with glory and applause that it's become your only reason for waking up in the morning? Choose to answer this with complete honesty because that's the answer that could possibly save you from being consumed by the cheers and losing focus of what it needs to be all about.