SUPERWOMAN

We listen to these songs that tell us what superwomen we are, we read books and magazines that say that the modern woman can have it all, go to school, work, raise children and be a superb wifey to her man. We seek to be those women who still smile despite their worlds falling apart and applaud ourselves for making it through the day without breaking down when everything around us is collapsing.

But there is a downside to playing superwoman, even if you are one, the stress and burden of everything that you have been sweeping under the rug will eventually catch up with you. I believe that is what happened to me just last week. When I went from fine on Monday during working hours to being admitted the same night and spending a week in hospital. Somewhat after numerous signs that your body has been sending you, I think it eventually just pauses on you to force you to stop and rest, to stop and take a breather and realise that the world will not fall apart if you take a few minutes, hours or days for yourself.

Sadly we don't know how to stop, when to stop. Even as I was lying in hospital, all I could think of was my child and whether she was being taken care of, my partner and whether he was eating right and not developing a roaming eye. Jokes aside, you worry about everything from the dishes to the laundry to what they are eating and if they are coping without you. So what began as a means for your body to get you to relax ends up making you more ill, blood pressure mounting, increased days in hospital and the possibility of exhausting your medical aid.

The past week must have been very hard for my loved ones, Wame who sat there helplessly watching me breathe with the aid of an oxygen mask, my family and friends barely recognising my bubbly and stubborn self in the state that I was in. My princess, as unaware as she seemed, it killed me what it was doing to her seeing that mommy wasn't well, that she wasn't home when she slept at night or woke up in the morning to go to school. More than anything, I think this scared me and made me question myself so much and not only that, it was a reminder that even when we feel like we have so much to live for.........life could still be taken away from us at any moment.

We owe it to ourselves to slow down and not worry so much about taking care of others that we forget to care for ourselves. Its not just about the future plans that we make but the moments that we have now, and how we choose to embrace and enjoy them. Its about making provision for tomorrow but being content with who we are today, where we are and what we have and finding joy in the present.