HOW I MISS MOMMY

I  have been thinking a lot about my mother over the passed few days. I miss her and particularly the conversations that we used to have. My mother was my best friend, we spend a lot of our time fighting but when it really came down to what mattered, I knew that she had my back in a way no one else would.

Whenever I hit that time in my life when I need to make hard decisions, I find myself needing and missing my mom the most. She always knew what to say, how to put things into perspective and how to take a mess and just fold it up neatly to make sense. All this while making jokes and remaining so calm on the outside. She had this way of reassuring me that things would work out, even when nothing in the physical pointed in that direction.

I cant help but think, she would know what to do right now, what to say, how to make it okay.......we would sit in her room, she on the bed and me on the car in the corner next to the wardrobe. And I would pour my heart out to her in tears, she would listen attentively then say a few words after that to make it all seem so insignificant. My mother used to warn me about being too trusting and the type of people I let into my life, you know what they say about a mother always knowing? Yes, she always knew and she always warned me but I never listened. I guess I was hellbent on making my own mistakes so that I could learn from them. It is a weakness I have always had though, not a very sound judge of character and go into things blindly which got my fingers burnt more times than I cared to remember.

What would she say right now? I wish I could hear her voice, get her advice. But sometimes as much as we miss those who raised us, we have to trust what they instilled in us. That means, listening to and trusting the voice within.

HERE IS TO 2014

We all have dreams, the difference between all of us is whether we do something about those dreams. Do we chase them, do we take steps towards accomplishing them or do we just dream and fantasize and hope that they will materialize by themselves? I have declared this year, the year of action, the year that I put in the work to accomplish the dreams that I have. I have decided that, enough time has been spent on hoping and wishing for life to be a certain way. The only noticeable difference between me and the women I look up to and admired, is that they put in the work and make it happen.

A friend of mine said to me the other day that she is not looking forward to turning 30 and it was at that moment that I realised, wait!!! 30?? I am really getting old and the older I get, the older my daughter gets. If this was not motivation enough, then nothing would ever be. All parents want the best for their children, so I asked myself this morning, what will set me apart from the other parents? I want to be that parent who not only hopes for the best for the child but the kind who works tirelessly to ensure that, they bring the best forth.

Successful people are no different from ordinary people. What sets them apart from the rest of us is the work they put in. The conversations that they have, the people that they surround themselves with and the fact that, they are willing to be uncomfortable now in order to live the life they want in the future. Nothing of value is ever attained without some kind of sacrifice on your part and in order to make the changes that one hopes to make, you need to be prepared as well to sacrifice, compromise and commit. That is the only way up.

Circumstances will never be favourable, its the courage to start when the timing seems wrong that eventually paves the way and makes conditions go in our favour. So destiny is not something that is written in the stars for you from the beginning of time, destiny is what you create for yourself. Through your choices and what you choose to invest in. It is knowing that wishing and hoping doesn't change your position but work and discipline do.

This year I hope for myself, the passion and commitment to make my dreams come true. The faith to believe that God has destined for me bigger and better but that in the here and now, I need to put in the work to finally have all He has in store for me.