DO NOT SETTLE

We all have things that we are not happy with in our lives but the question is what are we doing to change them? I think a lot of times we find ourselves just fantasizing and wishing. Wishing we had this kind of life, body, friends, partner, job etc. But most of us always end with the wishing part, we imagine what life would be like if we had the things that we desire, then sit back and do nothing to change our situations.

How many times have you heard people complain about their bodies? We moan about not having anything to wear, our clothes don't fit anymore, we don't like what we see in the mirror but speak of exercise or eating healthy and we become offended. I am one of those people, for the longest time now, I haven't liked what I see in the mirror when I undress but I come to work daily and eat junk and wake up in the morning and complain that I am gaining weight.

It is not just with our bodies that we act so passively, we do it with every aspect of our lives. We working jobs that we hate, sleep with partners we no longer love and respect, we go through life on cruise control mode, merely surviving and convincing ourselves that it is enough. We have somewhat managed to make it okay to settle, to aim so low that nothing shocks or disappoints us anymore. We wake up to the same routine, day in and day out and we smile through it and pat ourselves on the back for "stomaching" the things in our lives that we don't like, the things that do not serve us anymore.

Suddenly being ambitious is wrong because you are asked to tone it down a bit, you should blend in so that the people around you remain comfortable. Then there are the negative voices surrounding us that we pay attention to, the voices that tell us we cant, we are being unrealistic and that we need to slow down. Then we start to doubt ourselves and believe what the critics say, so we put our dreams on hold and believe that we should be happy with what we currently have even if it is not what we want.

They tell you, you are big-boned and you will never lose weight, so you believe them and continue to eat your junk. They remind you of the many people who are unemployed in the country, so you should be thankful for the job that you have even though, nothing in you wants to do that job. We shut the voices within and give preference to the voices of the world, the same voices that aim to hold us back, that aim to keep us where we are currently.

Wanting better has nothing to do with being ungrateful, there is nothing wrong with wanting better for your life. There is nothing wrong with wanting a slimmer body, a better job, a bigger house, a healthier life..........the trick lies in not wishing for better but waking up everyday and taking active steps towards giving ourselves the life that we want. It is being determined to shut the voices of the world out, to be okay with not settling for average and to wake up daily with the commitment to work to change your life to make it what you want it to be. To finally live within the parameters that God set for you.

OH!!!!!!! WHAT AN AMAZING WEEK

The last week was undoubtly one of those that will stand out for me for the rest of my life. If I ever doubted the existence of God in my life, the week has truly affirmed His Being and the role that He plays in my life. I don't have the right words to thank Him, nor can I fully express in words the joy that warms my heart.

On Wednesday we had a ceremony at school for signing our oath as future social workers. This is an annual function in which all second year students in Social Work sign an Oath to adhere to the values and principles of the social work profession and to always ensure that they handle with care the lives that are entrusted to them. It was truly a beautiful experience, that must have been a reminder to all of us of not just the journey ahead but also how far we had come. We all deserve a pat in the back and we deserve to be proud of the choice we have made, to dedicate our lives to the betterment of our communities and the people around us. Personally, I have no other place or profession that I imagine myself in and even though for the longest time, all I could think and dream of was being a Psychologist, I believe that things happen for a reason and that God led me this way for a purpose that is bigger than my imagination.



For that reason alone, I know that I cannot afford to give anything but my absolute best to the process and to my studies to ensure that I prepare as best as I can to be one of the best Social Workers in the field one day. I am truly humbled and ever grateful that out of the many applications received each year, I was chosen to be part of the program. And to get a bursary on top of everything else, this affirms the lesson in the book The Alchemist, when you want something badly enough, the Universe truly conspires in your favour to make it happen. Lord, I thank You for the grace You continue to show over my life.

Weekend came and it was ready to party up a storm with my new family. I had my traditional welcoming over the weekend. For those who don’t know what it means, your in-laws slaughter a sheep for you and give you a new name to welcome you as a part of their family. Well I am not big on culture and tradition but must say that this weekend I learned so much and was truly humbled to see all that goes into preparing for such a day.
Yes I was nervous, I didn’t know what to expect and the fact that I knew my family would not be part of the festivities scared me the most. I thought I would be alone and lost but honestly, I felt none of those emotions. I felt every bit as part of my new family and could see just how happy everyone was to have me there. Even though I wished my family could have been there to witness everything that went on, I understood that tradition did not allow for it to be that way.


Our culture as Sotho people is so diverse and extremely beautiful and being a part of the proceedings surely gives one a sense of pride well at least that is how it was with me. My gran told me before I left, to humble myself and do as I was told and to respect how my new family did things. And I realised over the weekend, how incredibly beautiful it can be not to fight culture but to instead embrace it. It is such an honour to sit back at the end of the day and realise all that hard work and sacrifices made by the family was just for you and no one else. Even the Makoti duties wasn’t half as bad as I expected, I learned how easily things can flow when everyone pulls together and works together towards a common purpose.


As we waved the family goodbye on Sunday, I felt such intense joy in my heart at the thought of having found myself a new family, one that has accepted me and embraced me as their own. As my hubby and I drove away, it symbolized new beginnings for us. The start of a new chapter, a new page in the book that we are busy writing. It didn’t feel scary; it still doesn’t feel scary because as much as the journey is about me and him, I know that we are not alone in it. There are so many people behind us, loving us and encouraging us and wishing us nothing but the best. More than that, I know that this union is written in the stars, it was written long before our paths even crossed. We have God in our corner and really, that is the only ammunition we will ever need.

Here’s to the beginning of forever…………………………………